How to play
Nobody buys for anyone in particular. The gifts go in one pile, and the fun is in the stealing.
- Agree on a budget. Everyone brings one wrapped gift with no name on it.
- Draw a pick order, so everyone has a number.
- Number 1 opens a gift from the pile, in front of everyone.
- Each person after that opens a wrapped gift or steals one that's already open.
- Whoever loses a gift opens a new one or steals a different one. Then play moves to the next number.
- The game ends when the last wrapped gift is opened.
Number 1 has the worst seat: they open blind and never get to steal. That's why so many groups give them a final swap at the end.
Steal limits and other house rules
Every family plays a slightly different game, so settle which one before anybody unwraps anything.
- Steal limit: a gift can be stolen a set number of times, usually two or three. Without one, a good gift can circle the room for twenty minutes.
- Locked gifts: a gift that hits the limit stays with whoever holds it. Some groups say frozen or dead.
- Final swap: at the end, number 1 may trade for any other gift.
- No steal-back: you can't steal back the gift that was just taken from you.
- One steal per turn: after a steal, the next person must open a new gift.
- No stealing at all: everyone opens a gift and keeps it, which is calmer and suits a group that barely knows each other.
- A second lap: one pass through the numbers is standard. Some groups add a final round where everyone may swap once.
How much to spend
Give one number. When the budget is "around $20 to $30", half the room shops at $20, the other half at $30, and everyone steals the $30 gifts.
- Friends: $20 to $30 is the common range.
- Offices: $15 to $25, so nobody feels squeezed.
- Gag gifts: decide whether they count, because one person's joke is somebody else's only gift that night.
When the group is big
Every steal adds a turn, so a game of 25 with no limit can outlast the party.
- Set the steal limit to two, or play one steal per turn.
- Number everyone before they arrive, since passing a hat around 25 people takes longer than anyone expects.
- Past 30 or so, split into two tables with their own piles. Two short games beat one long one.
White Elephant vs. Yankee swap vs. Secret Santa
Yankee swap and Dirty Santa are White Elephant under a regional name, with the same pile, pick order and stealing. House rules vary more between families than between names.
- White Elephant: you buy for the pile, gifts can be stolen, and the secret is who brought what.
- Secret Santa: you buy for one person, nothing is stolen, and the secret is who drew whom.
Secret Santa works when everyone knows each other well enough to shop for one person. White Elephant works with anyone willing to watch a waffle maker change hands four times. Running a draw instead? See how Secret Santa works on Joinue.
Writing the rules down
Most White Elephant arguments are about rules nobody agreed on. On a Joinue event, the host sets them once and they appear on a rules card on the event page.
- Steals per gift: no limit, no stealing, or 1 to 5. The card says when a gift is locked.
- The first picker's final swap: on or off.
- House rules: up to 300 characters in your own words, like the budget, one steal per turn or a second lap.
Once the host releases the order, everyone in the swap sees their number and the whole order, guests answering from the link included. Anyone holding the link can read the rules card.
Joinue shuffles the pick order for everyone who said Going or Maybe. It doesn't run the turns or count steals; the room does that, loudly. See how it works.