How to do Secret Santa
- Pick the group. Five to fifteen people is the sweet spot: big enough to surprise, small enough that everyone knows everyone a little.
- Set a budget and a date for the exchange, and say both up front.
- Collect names, and only from people who said yes. A draw that counts on someone who never answered ends with an empty-handed guest.
- Draw names so nobody gets themselves and partners don't get each other.
- Ask everyone for a wishlist, even a short one. Three ideas beat zero.
- Exchange gifts at the party, then reveal who had whom, or don't. Both are traditions.
On Joinue, steps 3 to 5 are the event: the RSVPs are the name list, Draw names does the drawing, and wishlists ride along with each match.
The unwritten rules
- Keep it secret. Telling people who you drew is how one person ends up with three candles.
- Stick to the budget. Going way over is as awkward as going way under.
- Shop from the wishlist when there is one. It is a list of things the person already wants, which is the whole job.
- Label the gift with who it's for, not who it's from.
- No regifting something the recipient gave you last year. They will know.
How much to spend
Pick one number, not a range, and pick the one the least comfortable person in the group can manage without thinking about it. A range invites one person to spend the top and another the bottom, and the exchange makes that visible.
- Coworkers: on the low side. The point is the moment, not the gift.
- Friends: a bit more, if everyone's in the same place.
- Family: whatever the family already argues about, but write it down this time.
Say it before the draw. On Joinue the budget shows on every card, so nobody scrolls back through a chat to find it.
Secret Santa at the office
Work exchanges go best when nobody feels drafted. Make it opt-in, keep the budget low and the same for everyone, and hold the exchange during work hours so people with long commutes or kids aren't stuck choosing.
- Post one link in the team channel. Coworkers answer Going without an account, and nobody has to ask to be left out.
- Keep spouses or desk-mates who carpool apart if they'd rather not draw each other.
- Organizing but not exchanging? Sit yourself out so the numbers still work.
- Keep it safe for work. A gag gift that HR hears about is not the story anyone wanted.
Long-distance Secret Santa
The draw doesn't care where anybody is. Everyone answers the same link and finds their match on their own phone, so a family across four time zones draws exactly like an office.
- Set the exchange a week or two after the draw, so shipping has time to happen.
- Unwrap on a video call. The event still needs a place, and “Video call” works; put the call link in the details.
- Guests with an account can put a mailing address in their wishlist, since only their Santa reads it.
- Agree whether the budget includes shipping. It usually shouldn't.
When someone drops out after the draw
With a hat, one dropout means drawing everything again, after half the gifts are bought. Joinue changes as few matches as it can.
- Before you send out the matches, there's nothing to do. Joinue draws from whoever is still coming when you do.
- After the matches are out, tap Update the draw. If Alex drew Sam and Sam drops out, Alex gets whoever Sam had. Usually only Alex is told.
- Someone joins late? They slip into the loop. Usually one existing match changes and nobody else moves.
- Anyone with an account who was taken out of the draw hears about it, in case they already bought something.
Couples you kept apart stay apart. If that takes a whole new draw, Joinue does one.